These are McKayla’s words.

“I can get thru this 5 days!

I have too.

I deserve better life.

I will be so great at life. I’m over failing at life and being nothing to nobody. A JUNKIE!!”

There is so much written on this little piece of paper.

There is determination.

There is hope.

There is a young woman trying with everything inside her to believe that five days could become the doorway to a different life.

But hidden inside those words is something else.

Fear.

McKayla needed to remain in detox for five days. Five days between the life she was living and the life she still dreamed could be hers.

We drove her there. We walked her to the door. We watched her go inside, believing she had found the strength to take that first step.

But after we drove away, McKayla left.

She never went in.

She was terrified.

People sometimes look at someone who leaves the door of detox and believe they did not want help badly enough. But McKayla’s note tells a different story.

She wanted a better life.

She believed she could be great at life.

She was trying to gather enough courage to walk through a doorway that frightened her more than most of us could ever understand.

She made it all the way to that door.

But that day, fear was stronger than hope.

So many dreams were left standing at that doorway. So much hope. So much possibility. An entire life she could imagine but could not yet believe she was strong enough or worthy enough to reach.

The deepest pain in this note is not that McKayla believed she was failing.

It is that she believed she was nothing to anybody.

She believed the word “junkie” had become larger than her name, larger than her heart and larger than every beautiful part of who she was.

But McKayla was never nothing.

She was a daughter.

A granddaughter.

A sister.

A niece.

A cousin.

A friend.

She was someone who rescued animals, welcomed people others turned away, found treasures where others saw garbage and gave what little she had without expecting anything in return.

She was someone who made us laugh, made us worry, made us angry and allowed us to love her through all of it.

McKayla believed she had to make it through those five days before she could become someone.

But the truth is, she never had to earn the right to be someone.

She already was.

That is why I am sharing her note.

For every person standing outside a detox centre, treatment program or another doorway to a different life, please know this:

Being afraid does not mean you are weak.

Leaving does not mean you never wanted help.

And struggling does not make you nothing.

If you cannot walk through the door today, please come back tomorrow.

And if tomorrow is too hard, come back the day after that.

Keep coming back until hope becomes stronger than fear.

You do not have to become someone before you deserve help, love or a better life.

You already are someone.

McKayla Jean Jones was someone.

And she will always, always be someone.